There are lots of things about living in China that can be tough on foreigners. Chinese breakfast is, well, bad, to be more than a little ethno-centric. People yell "hallooo" at you and then erupt into laughter, which I find bizaree more than offensive. Household garbage cans tend to be on the petite side. and as has been pointed out in another thread, toilets stink.
However there is one aspect of Chinese culture that I can at once appreciate, and also dread. It is the baijiu ganbei. Everyone has had to throw these down from time to time, but I really dislike it. At the same like I understand that it is a critical part of bonding here, and I think a lot of Chinese women find this at least as difficult an obstacle to integration as foreigners do. I don't want to offend, and I do want to be accepted, but I would prefer not to get sickeningly drunk every time I got to dinner with a group of Chinese men.
I strongly suspect (know in fact) that I am hardly the only one who faces this problem, so I wanted some advice about how other people hand this issue.
Thanks very much. Creative suggestions get bonus points.
Comments
Real Problem
This can be a real problem, and given the taste of baijiu and the eagerness of many here to get ill from drinking, things can turn out badly.
I have a few different strategies. One is to tell people you really love Chinese beer and really want to drink beer. This is moderately effective if you're nice about it and are willing to drink it.
Another option is i you can identify a single instigator and are out with friends you can gang up to neutralize him. Basically you have friends taking turns toasting him so that's he's doing 3 for 1. That may slow him down a bit and give you a break.
If everyone is instigating you may be in trouble...
fighting works
just tell 'em in your home country real men don't have drinking contests: things get settled with fists.
that should work.
or there will be a fight
Thanks
Yes, Pablo, that would be a very good way to pick a fight. My goal is to remain friends with people without getting incredibly drunk.
Good insight though.
just joking
OK, more seriously. Hmm...It can be an issue even more so for a foreigner since Chinese people tend to think foreigners can drink a lot. Sometimes you can reply to ganbei with "Sui yi" or "At your own pace". It doesn't work terribly well, but if it works occassionally that's a plus.
You can also try to get everyone involved each time which usually means so someone won't want to do it and then you don't have to be the first who wussed out (and you thought you would never get used to face saving!)
That's all I can think of.
Cultural differences
Sometimes you can get away with the catch-all "there are cultural differences" which sometimes allows you a way out of Ganbei'ing too much. You have to be a little careful though because you neither want to offend, nor put too much distance between you and your friends. Avoid acting too macho about it because that's an invitation to go shot for shot until someone keels over.
Another option is bringing whiskey, but that would only serve the baijiu issue. If anything that might encourage even more drinking. But at least it'll be something good!
The Geezer
The strange tale of the Shijiazhuang Pot Plant and how it died
Several years ago - in the depths of winter - I was assisting with the negotiations of a marble carving JV in Shijiazhuang, in Hubei. This city is a military garrison essentially, about a 4 hour train journey west of Beijing. For whatever historic reason, China's top marble and stone carvers are centered around the area, and our British client wanted to secure good quality carvings for his UK business. A JV was agreed, and after some educational input from me, was debated over a period of about a week at a local hotel. Every evening we'd then all go off - the Chinese side and the British side - and have an evening banquet in the hotel restaurant. There was nowhere else to go, and while negotiations went back and forth we were sort of caught in this eternal banquet from hell. Of course, they plied us with Bai jui. As you know, this is like tequila from hell. My usual ploy - maybe worth noting - is to introduce to proceedings a bottle of whisky, such as Chivas, pronounce my Scottishness, and share that around, and insist I only drink Scotch. This usually works well, but after 3 days I'd exhausted the hotels supply, and negotiations were dragging on. Then I noticed the rubber plant in a pot behind my chair in the dining room.
The fourth day, I skillfully knocked back the glass and tipped it into the rubber plant behind me. This went on for another four days, before we had to break up, negoatiations still not completed. We agreed to resume the following week.
Same again, same protracted negotiations (actually I think the Chinese side did this deliberately in order to get several top notch dinners) and plenty of bai jui. Most of it I managed to pour into the rubber plant. I noticed it's leaves turning yellow.
Eventually, we all got sick of the menu and the JV contract was agreed and signed off. I also settled up with the hotel for our rooms etc. One item on the bill caught my attention. "Damage to Hotel Property" it read "RMB500". I asked about it. "It's for the plant sir. You've poisoned it and we need to buy a replacement"....they'd known all along I was tipping it away....
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