Hey all you skcub ratS - put down that forty kuai coffee and stop staring at your laptop. You want peace of mind and an ethereal buzz? Then it's time to learn the basics of the Chinese tea ceremony.

 

There's a reason the world's most populous nation can kick opium, but would never consider giving up tea. It's a benign addiction. Only Juan Valdez and his band of desperadoes deny that tea is a far healthier habit than coffee. Furthermore, in its preparation and sharing, you will find calm and companionship, maybe even enlightenment, as some Zen adepts attest. Better yet, even the strongest Pu'er yields a third the caffeine of the equivalent amount of coffee. That means a pleasant lift, a mind more steel trap than hamster on a treadmill.

 

The following process outlines the basics of the tea ceremony, developed to derive maximum flavor and enjoyment. Because of it, the teahouse has ever been the Chinese equivalent of the neighborhood bar. If you wish to delve into all the stringent rituals of presentation and passing, splendid! Japan's about 1400 km that-a-way.

 

A kettle full of boiling water

 

A clay tea pot. Don't dither in selecting one - those who do usually become lifelong collectors.

 

A glass teapot - no lid necessary.

 

Tea cups - the smaller the better, to encourage appreciation rather than quaffing.

 

A wooden scoop. If you want to use a metal spoon, go ahead - use that one you just stirred your wine and pepsi with. The one in the plastic tumbler.

 

Wooden tongs for handling hot tea cups. Handles? This is a Chinese tea ceremony, not a logic ceremony.

 

 

A slotted wooden tea tray; spillage is to be desired, not avoided. Clay figurines are optional, depending on which household gods you wish to propitiate.

 

 

 

Pour some boiling water into your teacups and clay teapot. Pour the water out of the teapot, and rinse the cups using the tongs.

 

 

Scoop some tea into the clay teapot, enough to cover the bottom.What kind? Any kind rookie, as long as you didn't rip open a teabag to get it.

Fill the clay teapot with boiling water, then slowly count to six while pouring some boiling water on the teapot itself. This helps the tea release all of its fragrance and flavor. This is also where your tea tray comes in handy.

 

 

Pour the new tea into the glass teapot, but do not drink it. It contains any impurities and dust that the tea may have gathered, not to mention most of the tea’s caffeine (buzz-seeking coffee drinkers may wish therefore to ignore the next step).

 

 

Instead, rinse the tea cups with it, pouring from one glass into another. You can pour the contents of the cups directly on to your tea tray, or on to the aforementioned figurines, and wait for good fortune to broadside you.

 

 

Time for the second pour. Refill the clay teapot with water close to boiling point. Again count to six slowly. Pour into the teacups and enjoy! The pot may be refilled four to five times before a change of tea is necessary. By your third to fourth pot with the same leaves, you may wish to let the tea steep for longer, although more than twenty seconds won’t affect the tea’s strength.

 

A grateful thank you to Xiao Sun, tea connoissuer and proprietess of Pu'er Old Tea House, a great place to find tea at prices for the ren min, and to wile an afternoon away sampling enough tea to float a battleship.

Address: 0988 W. 2nd Floor, Hua Niao Market

East of Lugu road, Shijingshan District, Beijing

13552007751 - call for directions!

68604575 - Chinese only

A very special thank you to Kerry Xie for the photography.