It's nice to have big parks in Beijing, but they get boring fast. If you don't have a kite, and staring at strangers while dribbling seed shells isn't your thing, a park needs some substance to capture the imagination.

 

 

Now, that's more like it - modern sculpture. In a city devoted to waving it's ancient culture in your face at every opportunity, it's good to have the International Sculpture Garden, a massive park just steps from Yuquanlu Subway Station [third stop west of Gongzhufen].

As you can see, ancient Chinese culture is the last thing on the minds of many of these sculptors. Heck, many aren't even from China.

 

The works range from pretentious, to inspired, to obviously whimsical.

 

Zhang Kun and Hu Bing know modern times are a lot like an incomprehensible Pan Am flowchart.

 

The sky-patching lady doesn't need a wig, just a good pair of shades. Gotta love the Greco-Roman approach.

 

God Bless the harmonious society. In LA this thing would've been nabbed for scrap the night of the unveiling ceremony.

 

The massive park is divided in two by two ampitheaters, connected by a tunnel. There are performances here in the summer, and the World Carnival was held in this park two summers ago.

 

After the apocalypse, Mel Gibson will get front row tickets to 'Rocky Roll' - headlining at Thunderdome.

 

It claims to be a kite, but I'm pretty sure it could serve well in a Toltec Peyote ceremony.

 

Yu Shihong misses the glamor of his home town, New Orleans. That, or he finds the ghost of Stan Getz glamorous.

 

"Surely we deserve to have our names on the plaque. Haven't you seen Medici's logo on the Cistine Chapel?" Thank you for your work, Ericsson, Sony-Erricson, Huayi Brothers, etc. Oh yeah, and you, Carl.

 

Congenital spine disease eventually wiped out the Pekingoraptor.

 

You call naked at the park in December a beautiful life, Ms. Han? We call it dedicated naturalism.

 

Meanwhile on a hill, a herd of Hollywood oxen with serious body-image issues indulged in two blades of grass each.

 

Rage, rage against the dying of the light. These horses are larger than life, and magnificent, with the right exposure.

 

There's always gotta be some joker ruining it for everybody.

 

There are even holding pens for the kids! Just kidding - great playground, and a blow-up bouncy house land in the summer. Even China's biggest yellow tubular outdoor gym.

 

Told you. Alright marine, get on that chin-up bar and give me three! One for China...one for the PLA...that's only two.

 

A very special thank you to shutterbug Kerry Xie.