Beijing Bemusement Park


It's nice to have big parks in Beijing, but they get boring fast. If you don't have a kite, and staring at strangers while dribbling seed shells isn't your thing, a park needs some substance to capture the imagination.
 
Stone cold pilates
 
Now, that's more like it - modern sculpture. In a city devoted to waving it's ancient culture in your face at every opportunity, it's good to have the International Sculpture Garden, a massive park just steps from Yuquanlu Subway Station [third stop west of Gongzhufen].
Brought to you by PBS - and the Pew Charitable Trust
As you can see, ancient Chinese culture is the last thing on the minds of many of these sculptors. Heck, many aren't even from China.
 
Now you went and got the barrel-dwelling Scotsman angry.
The works range from pretentious, to inspired, to obviously whimsical.
 
Hello? Can you hear me? Can YOU hear ME? Yeah I can hear you...
Zhang Kun and Hu Bing know modern times are a lot like an incomprehensible Pan Am flowchart.
 
The result of Ben Franklin's ill-advised sun-staring experiment
The sky-patching lady doesn't need a wig, just a good pair of shades. Gotta love the Greco-Roman approach.
 
Arethra Franklin, 'Songs of Yunnan Province'
God Bless the harmonious society. In LA this thing would've been nabbed for scrap the night of the unveiling ceremony.
 
Pink Floyd was supposed to be set up by now
Good place for the Sharks to rumble the Jets
Do a little Rocky jig when you hit the top.
The massive park is divided in two by two ampitheaters, connected by a tunnel. There are performances here in the summer, and the World Carnival was held in this park two summers ago.
 
Play Free Bird!
Dude, who turned me down?
Whydoncha stop splooging and let me take a solo for once?
After the apocalypse, Mel Gibson will get front row tickets to 'Rocky Roll' - headlining at Thunderdome.
 
Prop from Jim Morrison's UCLA film
It claims to be a kite, but I'm pretty sure it could serve well in a Toltec Peyote ceremony.
 
In the 5th dimension, Wolfang Armstrong plays sax.
Yu Shihong misses the glamor of his home town, New Orleans. That, or he finds the ghost of Stan Getz glamorous.
 
Made Ya Look
The rapture of Tom Thumb
"Surely we deserve to have our names on the plaque. Haven't you seen Medici's logo on the Cistine Chapel?" Thank you for your work, Ericsson, Sony-Erricson, Huayi Brothers, etc. Oh yeah, and you, Carl.
 
They're moving in herds. They do move in herds.
Congenital spine disease eventually wiped out the Pekingoraptor.
 
Mommy's back from her butt-implant operation!
You call naked at the park in December a beautiful life, Ms. Han? We call it dedicated naturalism.
 
Not quite fattened  for slaughter
Meanwhile on a hill, a herd of Hollywood oxen with serious body-image issues indulged in two blades of grass each.
 
We'll ride them someday.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light. These horses are larger than life, and magnificent, with the right exposure.
 
Urban Caballero
There's always gotta be some joker ruining it for everybody.
 
Do not try to escape, my brother. Mother said she would be back before dark...
There are even holding pens for the kids! Just kidding - great playground, and a blow-up bouncy house land in the summer. Even China's biggest yellow tubular outdoor gym.
 
Told you. Alright marine, get on that chin-up bar and give me three! One for China...one for the PLA...that's only two.
 
A very special thank you to shutterbug Kerry Xie.
 

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