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China’s Ten Toughest Jobs?
A top ranking public servant of the Ming Dynasty
There are all sorts of ways to break your back for chump change, especially in China. But a recent survey by the Institute of Psychology at China’s Academy of Science ranked public service the nation’s toughest job. That’s right, the guy studiously ignoring your presence at his counter while he blows steam off a jar of tea has the hardest gig in the Middle Kingdom.
The Institute found that a combination of physical and mental suffering justified the public servant in claiming the number one hardship post. Although unwilling to report specific findings, lest we lose confidence in China’s well-oiled administrative machine, the Institute revealed the top three complaints cited by public servants: excessive responsibility, excessive workload, and a loss of “inner self” due to the strain of currying favor with department leaders.
Whoever would respond to such complaints with a flippant “Suck it up,” or “Join the club,” has plenty of likeminded Han on his side. A December 17th Mandarin MSN poll concerning the survey had 22,258 respondents. 56.28% doubted the validity of the survey, and 38.82% called the public servants big babies, in so many words. The survey has done nothing to change the perception of a public service job as a “golden rice bowl”, a safe, comfortable alternative to chasing the big bucks. Little wonder that in the current economic climate, the public service test is drawing record numbers of applicants.
The real cause for chin-scratching lies in some of the other nine jobs the Institute of Psychology determined to be China’s toughest. Migrant workers and miners, sure, but pop stars….announcers? As it did with the public servants, the Institute failed to clarify with any pertinent data. So someone decided to justify the survey with the following article, now ubiquitous on the Chinese Internet. We’ve translated it, trying our best to preserve the shocking level of sarcasm and black humor.
No.2 – Announcer
What a tough job the announcer has. To add to his labors is the fear that his celebrity status will lead to his kidnapping. Some female announcers undergo extremely rigorous interviews in order to convince bosses of their quality. In fact, such interviews are so demanding that some have been known to die in their bosses’ beds [a reference to a female host who was found dead in a party official's bedroom this year].
No.3 – Pop Star
Who says the life of a pop star is always glamorous? One well-known actress has degraded into a sex worker [a jab at Zhang Jue, an actress who accused director Huang Jian Zhong of demanding sex for money]. Bystanders simply can’t understand the intense physicality involved in the job. Sure, sometimes a star will receive a luxury car as a “present”, but even a famous singer must give as good as she gets. Imagine the inhuman effort it takes to repay such a gift. It’s impossible to communicate, which is why pop stars are always crying – they’re so tired of being celebrities. We should believe them.
No.4 – Writer
Brain work is never easy, especially in an economy that only has room for the novel and sensational. If such subjects don’t appeal, a writer can look forward to rice porridge as a luxury, and to shining shoes for rent money. No wonder one author is getting rich writing about her breasts, and others write exclusively about sex. Too bad they have to use so many thousands of words, when a picture would be much better.
No.5 – Athlete
We all know how strenuous it is for athletes to stay in competitive condition. It’s very repetitive work, and not just the sports training – there’s strutting around before a game, searching everywhere for excuses after losing, propping up the bar, staying out all night, taking DNA paternity tests. Divers have demanding part-time jobs in entertainment, not to mention their extracurricular scandals. At least runners can pursue postgraduate degrees and doctoral studies if they’re fast enough.
No.6 – Farmer
The rigors of farm life are an earthy subject. Farmers get their hands into their work, and turn their backs to heaven. In his poem “Pity for Peasants”, Tang Dynasty poet Li Shen said that sowing a millet grain in spring yields 10,000 seeds. With that kind of profit margin, peasant work is even more rewarding than multi-level marketing.
No.7 – Migrant Worker
When does a peasant become a migrant worker? As soon as he gets to the city! Of course the peasants all believe their migrant brother is busy as a bee, since he never has time to come back to the village for a visit. But how relaxing it must be, strolling around a city looking for the odd job here and there. No wonder the migrant worker is so understanding about waiting for his pay!
No.8 – Street Vendors
The most selfish profession on the list, the street vendor pursues profit at the expense of city image. Maybe the job’s not as tough as the top five, but it can’t be easy running away every time the public inspectors come by. Maybe it’s fairer to call them street criminals. Then again, public inspectors have three times as much work keeping up with street vendors as they did in the old days. Why isn’t the public inspector’s job on the list?
No.9 – Laid Off Worker
It’s tough work having no job. The unemployed who can’t take the boredom kill time delivering milk and newspapers, or riding pedicabs. That must be why they call pedicab drivers “the numb ones” – they’re too numbed by despair to even get tired!
No.10 – Miner
Why are all the workers who invade mother earth each day male? It must be true that most men suffer an Oedipal complex. Therefore, miners enjoy the work, and need not complain about having a tough job. Moreover, if a mine crashes, the miner will forever be in Mother Earth’s embrace. Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
*Special thanks to Qiaoyi Li for her contributions
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And the No.1 goes to?
Like the No.1 sentence said, Jamal, the public servant
And the sincere yet uncomprehending boob award goes to Anonymous.Try this perspective called sarcasm some time.
The easily offended are poor judges of humor at best. Please go help another blog with your self-righteousness.
My “Tough Job,” is being a full time dairy farmer on my parents dairy farm. It is a family owned and opereated farm. My day starts out at 4:30 a.m. in the morning. We are milking 80 holsteins, we raise about 160 head of youngstock throughout the year and have a beef herd of 90 head.
At least it's cow-manure and not BS you're wading through all day.
Nice history. I am glad to know this history. Thank you for sharing with us. looking more about china
I really feel sympathy for the public servants. Do you remember one of the most famous leaders C.H. Tung? He thought nothing but Public Relations had gone wrong. So, about 500,000 of protesters demanded him to step down in 2003.
I really feel sympathy for the public servants. Do you remember one of the most famous leaders C.H. Tung? He thought nothing but Public Relations had gone wrong.
I think you're referring to P.F. Chang.
I am totally agree with you. Those 10 job is really difficult. But people have to do for survive to alive in this world.
Do you remember one of the most famous leaders C.H. Tung
I am very much like this history. China has some great history. I am very glad to know that, Thank you for sharing and I am looking forward.
Amen.
i dont think it is fair that peasants have to be beated.
800 million peasants.. sick man of asia.
how come china Never beyond farming.. For 2000 years, most are peasants living on farms..
NO science
NO industry
NO parliament.
NO elections.
Free free china in a free world… what happened? why??? how come???
Haha, you’re just mad because we don’t pay for your draconian software, Bill. And we had computers when your ancestors were still turtles! Abacus – look it up, Kermit.