• China Expat is a cultural and literary forum for expatriates interested in China and has been published by Asia Briefing Ltd since 2001. The sites resident China culture writers have included such expatriate luminaries as Chris Devonshire-Ellis, Graham Thompson, Josh Gartner and now Ernie Diaz.
    Please use the search function to find related articles. If you wish to submit articles for consideration please contact editor@chinaexpat.com

  • China Expat – A Decade of Writing 2001-2011 Free Book Download in PDF IPAD Version of Book Download
  • Select the city :

  • Dezan Shira & Associates provide a range of services for companies looking to undertake foreign direct investment into Asia, These include corporate establishment, accounting, tax, payroll, audit and due diligence. To learn more about the firm, please contact one of our specialists at china@dezshira.com, download our corporate brochure or visit at us www.dezshira.com


The Five Rituals of Eternal Youth

by Ernie Diaz

 

That’s right. For taking the trouble to click on that link a moment ago, you are now going to be rewarded with the sacred rituals of eternal youth. Yet only unto the faithful is the miraculous bestowed. Do you believe that modern and ancient truths are not so very different?

It’s been more than a century since Einstein told us that matter is simply corrupted light, a multi-dimensional dance of energy fields. Still we persist in thinking of ourselves as discrete units of meat, bone, and blood. How about those seven ductless glands, the ones responsible for the secret juices which decide everything from how deep your voice is to which of your hairs turn gray first?

No Hindu mystic ever beheld a pineal gland in a petri dish, yet he knew about chakras, the vortexes of energy whirling about the organic manifestations of the endocrine system. Some of Buddha’s early fans told the Tibetan lamas about it, that youth and energy were pendant on those chakras whirling fast and in-synch, drawing prana into all the processes that give life to meat, bone, and blood.

Things fall apart: age and entropy will slow the chakras. When they spin at different velocities, no plastic surgeon or GNC supplement can long hold off the damage. That’s why you might forgive the lamas who devised this system for calling them rituals – ‘exercises’ is a bit banal for actions which merit a reprieve from Father Time.

Rite the First

Stand up. Put your arms out straight to the sides. Now spin clockwise.

You expected chanting, maybe? Joint-cracking postures only possible for a fifty-kilo ascetic in a diaper? Tut, tut. The atom only exists because it spins, as does the universe. As do children when they want to shake things up. Whirling dervishes are known for more than diverting head gear, by the way, such as conjugal prowess lasting well into eighth and ninth decades, but the modest Turks don’t usually speak of such things.

If you feel too dizzy to turn more than once or twice, do sit down, and be of good cheer. In a few weeks, or months, you will spin the prescribed twenty one times, and in such improved chakric synergy that your bright eyes will stop the room from turning almost at once.

Rite the Second

Lie down, palms down at your sides. Inhale, lifting chin to chest and legs perpendicular, no bent knees unless necessary.

Those who tire after two or three are the majority, the endless legions who glumly snap at their ever-more-snug waistbands. Those who can do twenty-one don’t fear the scale, and seldom pine for the call of nature.

Rite the Third

Kneel, hands on the hams for support. Chin down to the chest for inhale. Exhale and arch head and shoulders back as far as possible.

Twenty-one of these on a regular basis, and even the most slack-shouldered wage slave begins to attain the proud carriage of a nobleman. His mind inevitably turns from morbid worry to superior detachment. Huge groups of lamas perform this ritual simultaneously, claiming that the vibrational energy created clears up all sorts of bad karma. Feel free to laugh at the lamas and their mystical take on mental health and well being. Rumor has it there’s not one monastic dispensary in Tibet stocked with Prozac.

Rite the Fourth

Sit down on the floor, legs out straight, trunk erect, palms flat on the ground. Tuck the chin in. Now inhale, throwing the head back as you make like a table, body parallel to the floor, arms and calves perpendicular. Become rigid like the table you are, then relax on the way back to sitting down.

This ritual is where the secretly incorrigible start bemoaning their tight shoulders and stiff ankles. They deserve sympathy, not for their perceived ailments, but for their sluggish vortexes, spinning wobbily like exhausted tops. Confidence and optimism spring from harmonious velocity.Twenty-one will turn a crybaby into a confident yet compassionate adult.

Rite the Fifth

Hands and feet on the floor, two feet apart. Legs and arm straight, back arched. Throw the head back, and as you inhale push the posterior straight up to make an inverted ‘V’.

This rite passes for isometric exercise, also, and the increased flexibility in the spine compliments one’s toned arms, chest, and shoulders. Once again, however, the true benefit goes to the seven mini-cosmos, whirling faster, at the same speed, harmonious fields of energy that brook no disease or decay.

Twenty one is the optimal number of repetitions for each rite, but as few as three apiece will get things rolling, or spinning, rather. If you find one of the rites ‘impossible’, leave it out, for now. Only daily devotion will have long-term effect, but adepts can do all five rituals twent-one times in under ten minutes. Try for twenty-one days with open mind and heart. You’ve got nothing to lose but years of aging effects. Besides, they’ll still be selling wrinkle cream and face lifts if you change your mind.

* Thank you to 97 year-old Liu Jia, living proof of the power of the 5 Rituals, and a far more pleasing photographic subject than your average Tibetan lama.

No related posts.

You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

45 Responses to The Five Rituals of Eternal Youth

  1. Charles says:

    Clockwise appears to be the opposite way of spinning as employed by the whirling dervishes. Is this correct?

  2. Ernie says:

    Not sure, Charles. But I do know that clockwise is emphasized over and over again as the only way to spin for aligned chakras.

  3. Damian says:

    thanks that is a nice clear description of the exercises i will give them a try and pass them on
    here is a little info in return if you have not encountered it yet look up miraclemineral.org
    somthing we should all know about and have access to : )

    thanks

    Damian

  4. Ed Shaw says:

    And, there is a 6th ritual. Would
    you demonstrate, please?
    Ed

  5. Ernie says:

    My personal best is 3 days, Ed. Sometimes immortality comes at too high a price.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Hi there, I just started and would like to know if there really is a 6th ritual.I,m really waiting to see if this makes a difference to my body and face.

  7. christina von heidenstam says:

    hi i think im going to like this but it is a little difikult with the 4th ritual but not with the 1 2 and the therd rituels ok have a nise day from christina

  8. Ernie says:

    The fifth is usually the one people complain about.

  9. Anonymous says:

    hi i like the five rityals verry much whay must one loks like 30 years yanger can one not loks like 40 years yanger? can i do moore than 27 times each rituals? must it be onley 27 times each rituals? i have doen now the five rituals every morning in 5 days i shall continyou to do the five rituals ok from christina

  10. Ernie says:

    You called it, Cindy, the 3rd rite is great insurance against keeping your chin count down to one. The stimulation of the thyroid plays as much of a role as the stretching.

  11. Zintie says:

    Thanks a lot for publishing this ritual…I happend to see this site because, I got an email about buying a book on these rituals..and I thought i ll google first to see whether there is any info available on this.It makes total sense..the chakras needs to be aligned for well beings..These are excerpts from yogic poses though right? It reminds me of Sun Salutation..

    Thanks again..God bless!!

  12. Ernie says:

    Great info, anonymous.

  13. Anonymous says:

    does this really work ??

  14. Ernie says:

    Why would we lie? Are we trying to sell you something?

  15. redeerct says:

    hese are excerpts from yogic poses though right? It reminds me of Sun Salutation.. 

  16. Ernie says:

    Something like that….

  17. Greg says:

    Thanks for putting this up this post. These were known previously as “the five tibetans”, which I believe were put in a book by Chris Kilham. Someone else mentioned him.

    Bets wishes for a long (healthy) life.

  18. Shikha says:

    I am aged 53 and have been practising the five rituals for 2 weeks now …
    Wow is all i can say … and yes they do really work.
    I have had a problem spot in my lower back for years and amazingly after only 2 weeks my condition is changing for the better.
    They also make me feel more alive and i usually end up having a good laugh at some point during the rituals !

    Thanks to who ever posted these

    love and laughter

    Shikha

  19. Ernie says:

    Right on Shikha! It's great to know someone actually benefited from an article, rather than just found a few minutes' diversion from work.

  20. Shikha says:

    I am hooked !
    You see i also had an awkward shoulder … which i pulled 4 years ago … i tried many things including several visits to the osteopath … everything helped but my shoulder wasnt quite right.
    Now well … wow wow wow !
    With these 5 rituals i feel like my shoulder is slowly clicking right back into place.
    I have also passed this link along on face book …
    So Ernie … i have a feeling lots of people are and will continue to benefit from this article.
    Love you !
    Shikha

  21. Ernie says:

    Thanks for making my day twice, Shikha. Peace and love!

  22. Ernie says:

    Definitely more benefits if you give up smoking. Way to go, PV!

  23. Kerasia Norman says:

    I am so thankful for your choice to put your knowledge about these exercises online! Thats a loving thing to do!

    Thank you

  24. Ernie says:

    Love and peace, peace and love, Kerasia!

  25. Ernie says:

    Alright pinkviolet! Focus on the marvelous feeling, and your body will follow.

  26. Abigail Fletcher says:

    excellent information and thank you for sharing, I will try them out for sure (who doesn’t want to look younger) but there is NO WAY that your model is 97 lol

  27. see yin says:

    Very very interesting! Thanks for sharing.

  28. Barbara Greiner says:

    Hi there,

    Now I do those 5 rituals since 2 years, am 52 years old and feel great. No menopause problems, they just disappeared , no more hair loss, no weight problems, loads of energy,
    good mood, knee and back pain disappeared, all in all they help you to feel great. I do them every morning and no more then 21 repetitions. Since 6 month I am also doing the 6th ritual and yes it does make a difference. Just enhances the overall good feeling plus have the impression that my mind sharpened. They are easy to learn movements, throw in a positive affirmation with each ritual and you are on your way. They do not take up a lot of time and there is no excuse for not at least trying them.
    Love and peace to all.
    Barbara

  29. Ernie says:

    Truly inspirational, Barbara! Here’s to your coming 52 years of 5 (even 6?) rituals.

  30. Victor says:

    Are you serious? That delightful, eye catching lady, Liu Jia is 97 years old?
    Victor

  31. Ernie says:

    You must be a new reader, Victor. I’m as serious as a fart attack, I mean a heart attack.

  32. Marjolein Bult says:

    Hi there,

    I’ve just tried the obove rituals. 7 reps between the fourth and fifth I started feeling dizzy and à bit sick! Is tuis à normal reaction of THE body in the beginning?

    Thanks and regards from The Netherlands!

  33. Ernie says:

    Absolutely, Marjolein, it’s very normal. The whole object is to get your chakras spinning in alignment again; that spinning can make you dizzy or even nauseous as you adjust. It goes away fast – just take it easy, and wait until you’re level-headed again before the next exercise.

  34. james says:

    Hello,I have just done the five execises 21 reps in around 15 mins i felt i was going at quite a gentle pace im not out of breath but the sweat is dripping of me,and 2 b quite honest i feel beter 4 it.Cheers

  35. Ernie says:

    That’s the stuff James!

  36. Diana says:

    Hello from Canada!

    I am 37, and look 10-15 years younger already, since my Spiritual Awakening ths past March 9th.

    The lady in the picture you say is 97? Is that a typo? She looks about 10-15 years older than I look! (Which means about my actual age). I am learning much along my Path, but how is it possible someone of such an advanced age would look 60 years younger?

    Please feel free to email me, as I am sure you have much to teach – I know I have much to learn.

    ~Namaste~

  37. Ernie says:

    All blessings on your journey. We were kidding about the model, but not about the rituals…you’re proof.

  38. pat says:

    Hi, what is the sixth ritual that is mentioned a few times in the comments

  39. Ernie says:

    Abstinence, from partners or otherwise. Good luck!

  40. Matt says:

    great information with very helpful pictures. I saw someone trying to sell the same info (with some extraneous fluff) for $40 so I really appreciate your generous sharing.

  41. Ernie says:

    Free for all – our motto.

  42. Jimmy says:

    I’m really grateful to you bringing light to this matter, as I was also searching for it but honestly telling you it would be far much more helpful if you make a video of these rituals because that would make us very easy to understand them.

    Video should be in good quality and step by step in a slow manner so that one should understand it. Now a days it’s really very easy to make a video and I hope you won’t get any problem in order to do that, if you willing to do it.

    A friend of mine recommended a book http://www.fiverituals.com/rituals/ I’m thinking about this book whether I go for it or not.

    Anyways thank you so much for writing about this matter at least I got some knowledge about it.

  43. Ernie says:

    Gratitude is literally written all over you, Jimmy: good place to be. Honestly, though, ye of the youtube generation – we can learn from words alone; haven’t you ever seen Jackie Chan studying those diagrams in Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow? The movements are as simple as they sound. Whether spinning or arching, just do it slowly and naturally and don’t force anything, and you’ll find a groove. You know what, though, you’re right. We have the technology. Might as well use it.

  44. marcia says:

    Are we supposed to do each one 21 times before moving on to next or do 21 sequences of each rite?

  45. Ernie says:

    Each one 21. Unless you’re feeling really spunky.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>




Asia Briefing Media China Briefing India Briefing Vietnam Briefing Russia Briefing Mongolia Briefing www.2point6billion.com