1.3 Billion “Conspiracy Nuts”

McDonald’s is antithetical to conversation. People tend to gobble their Mcfood before it gets cold. The fluorescent light and high-sodium send a one-two punch to the neural cortex.

Believe it or not, though, thousands of young Chinese frequent McDonald’s for prolonged visits, the ones who can’t afford the rent at cafes. Usually they’re studying, which I assumed was the case with a book-laden college-age couple who graciously invited me to sit at their table, after enjoying my “food but no seat” ballet.

Small talk ensued, so I felt obliged to ask them what they were studying.

“Stocks,” replied the young lady, before her beaux could even comprehend the question. “Are you interested in stock market?”

“Well, I’m a little afraid of Chinese stocks..”

“Why?”

“It’s hard to do analysis when you can’t believe the financial statements; you know, the income statement, cash-flow statement, balance sheet.”

“Also equity statement.” Gordon Gekko over here. “You just need Chinese friends; they can help you. China stock market will go up for at least two years,” she declared, with the confidence of one stating a law of physics.

I steered the convo away from dry numbers, but we ended up on the rocky shoals of American foreign policy and Iraq.

“I just hope people in China can understand it’s not the average American who keeps the war going in Iraq,” I said gingerly, having learned from many a slammed door that talk of hidden power seldom leads to lasting friendship.

“We know. It is the international bankers,” said Ms. Gekko. She may as well have told me the name of my first grade teacher.

“Wha..where did you get that information?”

She pointed to her boyfriend’s book. “It is called ‘Currency Wars’. The author is Chinese, but he works in America, in derivatives. He tells us about the Federal Reserve is private bank, and the Rothschild family who control the banking.”

She sensed my squirming discomfort and backed off. But she mistook its source. Myself once an underemployed café specter, I had done quite a bit of independent internet study, and arrived at the same conclusions, to wit: the Fed was a cash cow for a disturbingly small group of international bankers, and that, since they controlled America’s money supply, they pretty much controlled its foreign policy. That and the fact that only John Wayne loves war more than a big banker – loans with whole countries as collateral, for starters –lent me a frame of reference that made it hard to care about the squabbling of Democrats and Republicans, any more than I care about a shadow puppet show.

How I suffered for bringing the subject up in polite company. Condescending grins, sympathetic head-shaking, charges of being a “hater” and a “kook”. Never mind that far greater men, and closer to the source, went on record with the same opinions. It was a great lesson in American taboos though, and here was this pixie-faced munchkin feasting on the forbidden fruit that I had once dared pluck, but left to rot before I got in serious trouble.

“What does this have to do with stocks?” I asked, hoping to get back to safer ground.

“We Chinese must be careful, and know financial history. Our country is growing, so the bankers will try to trick us. We must buy gold, so they cannot control our currency.”

“What about the WTO and all that; don’t you think maybe the bankers already have a pretty good start here?”

“We are still a Communist country,” she replied, without a hint of irony.“The government can help to protect our stock market and our currency.”

I went back to ambassadorial mode, a safe bet when meeting new Chinese friends. “I think China should work together with foreign banks, to build the country and adjust the economy.”

Again I knew the condescending grin. “Do you know the name Rothschild? The richest of all the banking families. They are for power. Money is from power. Power is not from cooperation.”

The Big Mac in my stomach was turning to rock sooner than normal. “I have to get back to work. I hope you both make a lot of money.”

“Thank you. You can invest here too. You must read the book in English translation soon. It is already best seller.”

I foresee a lot of stormy cross-cultural dinner party conversation in the near future.

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